Category Archives: Humour

What do the fans think of the FAI?

The fans weren’t too happy when the Republic of Ireland soccer team only narrowly beat San Marino on Wednesday night. They were expecting much more from the national team as can be seen from this video grabbed off Explic.it (‘gratz to Foot.ie for getting on the news!):

So, what did they do? Take a look at the Wikipedia page for the Football Association of Ireland. Looks ok doesn’t it, except for the notice saying, “Editing of this article by unregistered or newly registered users is currently disabled.” Why is that? Someone vandalised the page, which is unfortunate but almost forgiveable. Check the history page for more details. Here’s what they wrote:

They are a really nice, intelligent, clever, stand up gang and not a bunch of Fucking useless cunts that should be taken out and shot. Everything that they touch turns to ash. wheither it’s the Eircom League, all the money that they blew after the 1990 & 1994 world Cups, the Building of Eircom Park, The Roy keane incident, The Sacking Of Brian Kerr after he did the best that he could right down to the Appiontment of a man without no managerial experience and who talks through his arse…Mr Steve Staunton! the organising body for the sport of association football (soccer) in the Republic of Ireland.

Oops!

I forgot to ask the midwife

We’re just back from our first ante natal class and I forgot to ask the most important question that every dad wants to know,

Can the prospective dad get a few gulps of the gas and air?

I did remember to ask another important question.

When the baby is upside down in the womb, does the blood run to it’s head? Is the baby in a constant state of wooziness?

Apparently the unborn baby’s blood runs in the opposite direction to your’s or mine. When a baby is born two valves close off in the heart and the blood flows in the right direction! So much happens when a baby is born, they must start breathing for themselves, they have to heat themselves.. Complicated business.

Brenda Power writing in the Sunday Times has a very positive article about older mothers. This is a subject close to my heart because my pregnant wife will be 42 on her next birthday, although if you met her you’d hardly know it! I would link to the article but the Times Online website has been redesigned. They’re looking for feedback so here’s mine. I don’t mind the new colours, it’s not as cluttered as other news sites, but some of the database and archive functionality could be improved. When I tried to view last Sunday’s Sunday Times content the drop down didn’t work, and searching for “Brenda Power” in the search box returned zero results! Does she still work for you? Looking forward to seeing those problems fixed because half the enjoyment of reading the newspaper is that I can blog it later!

One more criticism of the new Sunday Times website – not all articles are available there. The two I wanted to blog about this week are missing in action, presumed lost in the server somewhere. Please fix it! *sob*

Topless Speed Bandits cause traffic pile up

It appears that the Danes have been just a little too good at slowing down traffic by employing a new method of attracting the attention of speeding drivers to speed limit signs. Drivers are literally queuing up to watch the young beauties holding the signs. Oops. The following video might be viewed as NSFW so click through with caution!

Continue reading “Topless Speed Bandits cause traffic pile up”

Death and Divorce Unix style

When you break up with your significant other you go through the motions of living your life, but in a daze. At some stage you need to let go and move on, no matter how hard it is. (from xkcd)

userdel

PS. Congrats Elly on the move to WordPress! A pity this cartoon wasn’t published before your talk at BarCamp!

PPS. But seriously, a friend just broke up with his girlfriend of over 4 years. She was cheating on him, I hope he listens to how to dump a cheating girlfriend!

How to dump a cheating girlfriend

Galaxy Radio’s Danny dumps the girlfriend of a guy who is about to propose to her when he finds out that she, eh, serviced her married boss at the Christmas party.

It’s cruel, it’s awful, and the way she was dumped wasn’t too nice either but didn’t she deserve it?

Did she deserve that? Did they go too far? Have you got any similar breakup stories? (via)

Idiots on the road on film

Gardai are investigating a video found on bebo.com made by two lads from Cork. They made a video of themselves driving at 200km/h through the Jack Lynch Tunnel and then posted it on the Internet for all to see. I wonder who did they think would watch the video? Has the video made it outside Bebo yet? Apparently the Gardai have asked Bebo.com to take the video down so it could be gone for good. Pity, it could go down in Irish Internet Folklore.

While we’re waiting, here are two lads who decided to drive at speed through Dublin city center, at least until they passed an unmarked Garda car. (via Blogorrah)

The video might not be playing, but you can view it here still. Not sure why but it’ll probably right itself eventually. Note the comment from the driver:

deloford (2 months ago)
They stopped us because it was an english reg in dub& they thought the car was stolen by a couple of nackers, also you cant see clearly but it was v. bad driving in rain,nearly ran someone down,run red light,speeding in bus lane,a guy videoing it in the front seat which they saw.
Normal cops dont threaten to shoot you and if it was normal cops we’d ave been in the shit. He started to search and got a call.

And this comment was definitely not made by an Irish person, like,

Why is everyone using like at the end of every sentence what ever the fuck that means?!!!

No Béarla in this country

Is it possible to travel the length and breath of Ireland by only speaking in Irish? Evidentally yes if the following video clip is anything to go by. TG4 broadcaster Manchán Magan did it and this is his story. Here he buys condoms in a chemist, chats up some girls at a disco and finishes the night off by, well, watch the clip. It’s a bit funny. (via TCAL)

Irish traffic to drive on right

The Irish Government will start the process of converting our traffic system to a right hand drive one in the next few months. The current system of driving on the left is a legacy of British rule in this country but now that we’re part of the EU this change is finally taking place. Grandad has more details on his blog.

I expect this will be a welcome change for tourists and foreign travelers to our shores, especially Polish people who will no doubt start businesses teaching people to drive on the wrong other side of the road.

Initially, all buses and articulated vehicles will move to the right to allow for a period of adjustment. Car owners may opt to make the switch themselves on an individual basis, depending on their level of confidence.

Starting on the 1st of August, all motorists outside city limits will be required to drive on the right. And finally on the 1st September, all city traffic will make the transition.

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