Off travelling again, 2016 edition

The Automattic Grand Meetup starts tomorrow so I’m in Cork Airport waiting for my flight to London.

The weird thing about timezones means I leave here in the morning and get to Vancouver in the morning. And it’s still the same day. That also means I need to stay awake so much longer. 

“Today” is going to be a long day. Zzzz.

When is Android Pay coming to Ireland?

I’ll admit I haven’t been too excited about the whole “paying for things with my phone” hype. I think I may have used a contactless terminal in Mc Donalds once. But there was a system update for my Galaxy S7 Edge yesterday and early this morning I noticed a new application, Android Pay. Despite the early hour I quickly went through the setup process but adding the credit card from my Google account brought me to this screen:

Android Pay

Various searches on Google haven’t thrown up anything useful or hopeful. It’s anyone’s guess when Android Pay will go live here. Anyone know?

Irish Water Phishing Emails

I must have been half asleep when I clicked the link in this email, but Gmail hadn’t caught it yet even though it’s an obvious phishing attempt, so be warned if you get an email warning of “urgent maintenance” of your account. Then again, it’s probably a bad site to phish, since most people are boycotting them. I bet there’ll be people on Facebook complaining that they were sent these emails, even though they’re protesting it! 🙂

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.55.45

The from address is at Telefonica, and the login link goes to a page at which is a convincing Irish Water login page, looking very like the original.

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.58.40

Opening both pages in two tabs and switching between them shows no jumps in spacing or changes at all. Irish Water haven’t been around that long either so it’s not as if we’re all familiar with how they compose their email correspondence. Mark as spam and don’t let the bad guys win.

Climate Change According to Danny Healy Rae

I wasn’t going to mention how ridiculous Danny Healy Rae was in the Irish parliament yesterday except I came across this XKCD comic mocking a US senator over similar beliefs.

The News

It’s embarrassing that a member of the Irish Dáil believes that climate change isn’t real and that “God above is in charge of the weather and we here can’t do anything about it”. Maybe, just maybe he has a cunning plan after all…

The Healy Rae Cycle
The Healy Rae Cycle by Ciara

As usual, WWN have a hilarious report on the situation. 🙂

“But we’ll do our best to ensure a few grand nice days there with the Child Of Prague under the hedge. Sure didn’t it work for us there in Kerry the time we were going to our cousin’s wedding, we put the statue out and it was a fierce day the next day altogether. There’s no reason a concentrated effort by a few hundred thousand people across the country couldn’t do more for climate change than you’d ever get done by banning fossil fuels”.

BTW – if you’re having trouble understanding him, this Irish Times article has some quotes and the Examiner has reactions and of course check Twitter too.
Bonus: Danny Healy Rae will debate the leader of the Green Party, Eamon Ryan, on the Last Word on Today FM at 5pm. Get your popcorn ready!

Ireland in Brief

I can’t claim to be the author of this piece. I found it on Facebook but a quick Google search shows it in blog posts and forum threads going back to 2010.
Being a Cork man, I’ve never been to Newry. I’ll have to rely on my Dublin friends to tell me what it’s like. I wonder if that bit is still true given the collapse in the value of the Euro..

Ireland is an island to the west of Britain but Northern Ireland is just off the mainland – not the Irish mainland, the British mainland. 

The capital of Ireland is Dublin. It has a population of a million people, all of whom will be shopping in Newry this afternoon. They travel to Newry because it is in the North, which is not part of Ireland , but still pay in Euros. Under the Irish constitution, the North used to be in Ireland , but a successful 30-year campaign of violence for Irish unity ensured that it is now definitely in the UK . Had the campaign lasted any longer the North might now be in France . Belfast is the capital of Northern Ireland. It has a population of half a million, half of whom own houses in Donegal. Donegal is in the north but not in the North. It is in the South.No, not the south, the South. 

There are two parliaments in Ireland. The Dublin parliament is called the Dáil, (pronounced “Doyle”), an Irish word meaning a place where banks receive taxpayers’ money. The one in Belfast is called Stormont, an Anglo-Saxon word meaning ‘placebo’, or deliberately ineffective drug. Their respective jurisdictions are defined by the border, an imaginary line on the map to show fuel launderers where to dump their chemical waste and bi-products. Protestants are in favour of the border, which generates millions of pounds in smuggling for Catholics, who are totally opposed to it. Travel between the two states is complicated because Ireland is the only country in the world with two M1 motorways. The one in the North goes west to avoid the south and the one in the South goes north to avoid the price of drink! 

We have two types of democracy in Ireland. Dublin democracy works by holding a referendum and then allowing the government to judge the result. If the government thinks the result is wrong, the referendum is held again. Twice in recent years the government decided the people’s choice was wrong and ordered a new referendum. Belfast democracy works differently. It has a parliament with no opposition, so the government is always right. This system generates envy in many world capitals, especially Dublin.

Ireland has three economies – northern, southern and black. Only the black economy is in the black. The other two are in the red. All versions of the IRA claim to be the real IRA but only one of them is the Real IRA. The North’s biggest industry is the production of IRAs. Consequently, we now have the Provisional, Continuity and Real IRA. The Real IRA is by far the most popular among young graffiti writers simply because it is the easiest to spell. I trust this clarifies things and has answered many previously unanswered questions for you.