Categories
Humour

Please help the World Health Organisation

I received a nice polite email from a man asking for my help last week. He was a bit cryptic but he replied this morning saying he works with the World Health Organisation.

Help the World Heath Organisation

Hi Donncha O Caiomh,
there is something to talk about , i want your assistance coz i work with W.H.O ( world health organisation ) and i bought some goods in state and i am in finland here for official purpose.
Will you kindly send me your address so i can send the goods to you and also maybe when am through with my official assignment i will come down there and collect the goods bought.
Pls kindly reply me so as to know what to do.
THANKS
JUNIOR BENRICHARD.

Oh the poor guy! He’s stuck in Finland and needs goods delivered? As I was about to reply with my full address, I remembered getting another email from him. He had contacted me about a post I wrote. That was last week when I was on holiday and I still haven’t got around to clearing out my inbox. I went searching and here it is:

electric car info

hi
yea i drive an electric car. i work with the car construction company. if you wanna know, kindly send me 3000usd via western union and i will get back to you as possible.
you can call me on +2348029479959. am junior by name.

Oh what a talented guy! He works for W.H.O. and for a car company! I don’t know if I want to know about electric cars that much. I mean, $3000? That’s a lot of money!

Oh, and Ben, since you’re subscribed to my blog, please get in touch again. The Irish Police want a word with you.

Edit (10/08/09) Ben has been in touch again:

Hi donncha, how r you nd everything, am off state and i some1 wanna send some money to my credit-card so as to collect and use it to pay my childs school fee. pls send me you details so as to send you the money nd you will only help me to western it to my child coz she is totally inneed of it.
am looking forward to see your reply
JUNIOR BENRICHARD.

Categories
Humour

Sudden productivity upsurge ends recession

This just in. Economists worldwide are scratching their heads as the latest figures suggest the global recession may be coming to an end. Global output has suddenly shot up, people are working harder than ever before and they’re getting out to the stores and malls and spending money.
If this trend continues the world may be on it’s way to a boom by the end of the year.

Meanwhile Twitter and Xbox Live are offline on the same day for maintenance.

connecting-to-twitter
Categories
Humour Ireland

The Simpsons come to Ireland

St. Patrick's Day So, a new Irish themed Simpsons will air tomorrow night to celebrate St Patrick’s Day and the whole world is going gaga over it.

We had lunch in Blarney today and heard from more than one person that the Simpsons will be making an appearance tomorrow at Blarney Castle! I think people are confusing reality with a cartoon storyline. Things are getting out of hand. Next thing you know, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Ducks will be spotted walking out of the Woollen Mills and drinking pints with the locals.

I have the episode set to record on Sky+ anyway. Should be a laugh.

Oh, and it’s not “Patty’s Day”. A pat is something a cow leaves behind in a field and contributes to global warming and is quite smelly. Dung beetles like it too. If you must shorten “St. Patrick’s Day”, it’s “Paddy’s Day”! Thanks Gavin for alerting me to this atrocious misspelling.

Categories
Humour Movies

The Matrix Windows Style

What would the Matrix be like if it ran on Windows XP? Very silly, but I love the ending! (Thanks Aehso!)

PS. Jason Roe is organising a blogger/webby meet up in Dublin on Thursday the 27th. I won’t be there but he’ll have some WordPress stickers and badges to give away!

Categories
Humour In the news

Joe Six Pack

So, who is this “Joe Six Pack” that Sarah Palin keeps going on about? The Urban Dictionary says,

Average American moron, IQ 60, drinking beer, watching baseball and CNN, and believe everything his President says.

That isn’t the most flattering description of a demographic group. Who would willingly view themselves as a “Joe Six Pack” after reading that? Is there an Irish or British equivalent?

Anyway, I became curious after hearing another news report about American politics on Irish radio and found that Joe Six Pack really does exist! Joe dishes out the info on a range of topics and describes himself as, “America’s Most-Popular Divorced Dad”. Odd.

It turns out that Joe The Plumber exists too. They’re a plumbing company in Amarillo, Texas. I want one of their tshirts!

I’d love to see their stats. I wonder if the McCain/Palin campaign has sent much traffic to either site? Check out Palin as President for a humorous look at what Sarah Palin’s first day in the Oval Office might be like. Cracked me up.

So, who’s for a Brian Cowen tshirt? Or even an Enda Kenny tshirt? Can you imagine car bumper stickers with Cowen’s face? What would that do to the accident rate in the country?

Categories
Movies

Excuses for ringing in sick

If you thought you’d heard it all, watch this video and listen to the outrageous lies and excuses four guys give their new employers. How long can they last and who will remain employed the longest before being fired?

Film by Dogmedia Productions (warning, large embedded movie file), via Jazzbiscuit and Justin. Originally shown at the Darklight Festival in 2007.

Categories
Humour Movies Web

How Google Search Really Works

I’ve always wondered, ‘What really happens behind the scenes at Google when I hit the “Google Search” button?’

(via Scott)

Categories
Humour

Windows 95 is the best Windows

I used to believe that Windows 95 was the best version of Windows. Compared to previous Microsoft operating systems and software like Windows 3.1, how could I not think that way? DOS was great, it did the job it was supposed to and got out of the way when playing Doom 2 but Windows 95. Damn, that was a whole new ball game. Marvelous.

Now I’ve found something better. It’s a souped up version of Windows XP. Check out the screenshot. I’m getting rid of Linux. Ubuntu? Bah. It’s gone.

You can check out a fully functioning demo too. I know you’ll be as impressed as I was.

Categories
Ireland

FAIL


A conspiracy of silence
Categories
blogging Ireland

Everything is stupid

Some guy called John Waters says bloggers are stupid and can’t string two words together. Now, we all know that’s a bare faced lie, but maybe he had been trawling Bebo when he came up with that freakish idea?

I missed the radio interview where he said that and frankly I couldn’t care less. I only picked up on it when Irish bloggers went gaga over it. I did get a kick out of John’s new blog though. That’s funny. Thanks Niall.

John Waters