When columnists go bad

It’s a wonder sometimes why some bloggers hold journalists to such high standards. Quite often what appears in our newspapers is ripped entirely from press releases, or is poorly researched. Case in point are the two columns by Jeremy Clarkson and India Knight in last week’s Sunday Times (I’ve been away, catching up on my blogging!)

Jeremy Clarkson may be a funny guy, but is he a little thick? In Biggles, you’re a crashing bore he says,

Then you have to spend more months learning how to use a radio. Why? I know already. You just stab away at various buttons until someone comes over the speaker. Then you tell him what you want.

Oh no you don’t. You have to talk in a stupid code, saying “over” when you’ve finished speaking for the moment and “out” when you’ve finished altogether. Why? When I ring the plumber or the local Indian restaurant, I am able to convey the nature of my request perfectly well using English. So why when I’m in a plane do I have to talk in gibberish?

“Hello, it’s Jeremy. Is it all right to land?” is a much easier way of saying, “Weston Tower, this is Charlie Victor Tango on 8453.113 requesting a westerly approach to runway 27.”

That’s not sarcastic and witty. That’s plain dumb.

On the same page India Knight states that many people suffering from allergies and food intolerances really don’t have allergies at all and are simply rude. Try telling that to me after I’ve had a cheese covered pizza.

Millions of people have imaginary allergies and food intolerances, according to a survey last week. Many of them have diagnosed themselves online; one in 50 says they only noticed their “problem” when a friend had similar symptoms; and 39% of people questioned think it is “trendy” to claim a food allergy. Twelve million people claim to suffer from allergy or intolerance, of which less than a quarter are medically diagnosed.

The mind boggles. I love cheese and milk. I would love nothing better than to drink a cool glass of milk with a spicy curry, or homemade brown bread with a thick slice of cheese on top. It’s not bloody trendy to have a stuffed up nose and phlemmy throat a few hours later. Poor Ms. Knight lives in a very black and white world.

Good to know I’m not the only one to think this way about India Knight’s article. Actually, India Knight was never good so she couldn’t go bad. At least Clarkson’s articles are mildly entertaining!

Letterman destroys Paris Hilton

I’ve been away from my computer for a while so please excuse me if you’ve seen this already. Paris Hilton appeared on the Letterman Show to plug her new perfume, but he’s more interested in her jail time .. Certainly funnier than her last video!

Via the blog that’s ripping stuff from my funny video blog so I’m not going to give them a link. Nar! Nar!

It's Toddtime at Sacred Heart

Some said “Even The Todd wouldn’t wear those” but I think he would. In a recent episode of Scrubs, Todd had a tshirt with the url, thetoddtime.com emblazoned on it. Fearful for what I’d find there, I visited thetoddtime.com and discovered something so unreal, so shocking that I had to share it with you.

thetoddtime.jpg

If the Quicktime movie doesn’t load for you, someone kindly uploaded it to YouTube as well. Click the “Read more” link to view it as I want to spare the sensibilities of the casual visitor here. It’s so YEEEEA!!!

Continue reading “It's Toddtime at Sacred Heart”

News from the beaches of Cork

Following the news that €105m worth of cocaine was recovered from the waters off West Cork over the last 2 days it appears that some people have been down to the beaches helping Gardai with their investigation..

cork.jpg

Thanks Derek for the image, anyone know where it came from originally?

Read Me Now!!! from Microsoft

Oh no! New bugs have been found in Windows XP! My Macbook must be vulnerable because this email said it is! I better run that exe file straight away.

Hello! Hackers discovered new bugs on Windows XP versions. Now, your computer is very vulnerable to this attacks,

that`s why Microsoft Corporation relased a new patch to protect your sistem!

If you do not install this patch, the hackers can attack your computer, break into your sistem and steal passwords

or secret informations. In USA over 11,000,000 computers were attacked! Those computers didn`t have installed

protection patch!

Please download the patch and install it on your computer now!

DOWNLOAD PATCH: => http://www.bemont.net/patch.exe

* * DO NOT IGNORE THIS MESSAGE * *

Thank you!

Phew. What would we do if Microsoft didn’t email everyone on the planet telling them about these bugs? You’d think they’d have some sort of Auto Update system in place instead of the fuddy duddy old email system. I’d be up the creek without a paddle if that email had been stopped by Spamassassin. It doesn’t bear thinking about what might have happened if I had missed this warning. Thanks guys!

Star trekkin' across the universe

Star Trekkin’ by The Firm

I can’t believe this song is 20 years old! My parents bought the original album on tape and we listened to it over and over. The other songs on the tape were more boring to my 11 year old ears but I remember they grew on me as time passed. I have no idea where the tape is now unfortunately.

What would we do without Youtube? Write original content? Gasp!

Star Trekkin’ is a song released in 1987 by a band called The Firm (not to be confused with the British rock group or the hip-hop supergroup of the same name). It is a parody of the original TV series of Star Trek.

Just in case that wasn’t enough, and on the subject of songs that get stuck in your head. The “Hold a chicken in the air” part of the Chicken Song by Spitting Image was stuck in my head for several years. Don’t press play. You’ve been warned!