Mad as it seems but some guys wanted to know if a Trojan Horse could be driven into a gated area and left overnight. Let’s see what “The Chasers” did next …
(via Mark Jaquith on Pownce)
Category Archives: Humour
Fun on the radio in Cork
Ah, this is an oldie but a goodie. Cork radio station 96FM ran a competition to win a trip to Bali for one lucky listener. Unfortunately it didn’t go as planned when one persistent caller got onto the show..
News from the beaches of Cork
Following the news that €105m worth of cocaine was recovered from the waters off West Cork over the last 2 days it appears that some people have been down to the beaches helping Gardai with their investigation..
Thanks Derek for the image, anyone know where it came from originally?
Read Me Now!!! from Microsoft
Oh no! New bugs have been found in Windows XP! My Macbook must be vulnerable because this email said it is! I better run that exe file straight away.
Hello! Hackers discovered new bugs on Windows XP versions. Now, your computer is very vulnerable to this attacks,
that`s why Microsoft Corporation relased a new patch to protect your sistem!
If you do not install this patch, the hackers can attack your computer, break into your sistem and steal passwords
or secret informations. In USA over 11,000,000 computers were attacked! Those computers didn`t have installed
protection patch!
Please download the patch and install it on your computer now!
DOWNLOAD PATCH: => http://www.bemont.net/patch.exe
* * DO NOT IGNORE THIS MESSAGE * *
Thank you!
Phew. What would we do if Microsoft didn’t email everyone on the planet telling them about these bugs? You’d think they’d have some sort of Auto Update system in place instead of the fuddy duddy old email system. I’d be up the creek without a paddle if that email had been stopped by Spamassassin. It doesn’t bear thinking about what might have happened if I had missed this warning. Thanks guys!
Star trekkin' across the universe
I can’t believe this song is 20 years old! My parents bought the original album on tape and we listened to it over and over. The other songs on the tape were more boring to my 11 year old ears but I remember they grew on me as time passed. I have no idea where the tape is now unfortunately.
What would we do without Youtube? Write original content? Gasp!
Star Trekkin’ is a song released in 1987 by a band called The Firm (not to be confused with the British rock group or the hip-hop supergroup of the same name). It is a parody of the original TV series of Star Trek.
Just in case that wasn’t enough, and on the subject of songs that get stuck in your head. The “Hold a chicken in the air” part of the Chicken Song by Spitting Image was stuck in my head for several years. Don’t press play. You’ve been warned!
She's a Maniac in Scrubs
I watched this episode of Scrubs the other night and I cannot get this song out of my head. As I’m not one to suffer in silence you lot might as well enjoy it too. Be glad you’re not in my head! Maniac, maniac … …
As performed by The Blanks.
The real way to improve server performance
If you want to improve server performance, the best way is to move as much of the processing off it and onto the client machine. All those visitors of yours are running souped up AMD and Intel CPUs with their big screens and fat harddrives. No wonder your small little hosting plan can’t keep up. Here are some very good ideas from a Slashdot comment I read this morning.
- Databases can get pretty slow with complicated queries, so upload your database to the client when they load the page and then your database queries are distributed.
- PHP isn’t very fast, and neither are Perl or Python, so you don’t want to be running them on the server either. Write an interpreter for the language of your choice in Javascript and move your business logic to the client. This will also interface better with the client side database copy.
- SSL is a performance killer, don’t use it. If you need to send something securely just prefix it with a predetermined number of random letters and numbers, no one will think to look beyond them.
- Writing to databases can be pretty bad too. Try discarding all your changes, your users might not notice the difference, but they will appreciate the performance gain.
Check out the original post for a few more invaluable nuggets. If you follow all these tips you’ll be well on your way to becoming a respected and l33t hacker.
And now the big news. I’m really excited about this. The next version of WordPressMU will have a special Javascript client-side db (JCSDB) library built in. JCSDB will enable distributed and parallel access to your WPMU db without the danger of harming your servers. The best thing about it? If your site is dugg or slashdotted then your visitor’s machines will handle the load transparently. Instead of using slow and ungainly TCP/IP the library will use super-quick UDP to communicate. It really is the best way of sending data over the Internet.
I expect Matt will roll out JCSDB on WordPress.com just as soon as a few of the final bugs are ironed out. It might be a bit of headache for Barry and Demitrious to administer, but at least we can get rid of at least half our servers and use them to power a massive game of Counter Strike at the next WordCamp.
Update on May 31st! You all thought this was a joke didn’t you? Well, Google Gears has just been released and “is an open source browser extension that enables web applications to provide offline functionality”.
- Store and serve application resources locally.
- Store data locally in a fully-searchable relational database
- Run asynchronous Javascript to improve application responsiveness.
It’s still in beta but Google Reader already supports it by allowing you to download up to 2000 items to read offline. This could be useful when I’m flying to SF next July!
Why the nurses can't go on strike
Imagine what would happen if only the doctors attended patients?
PS. Yes, I am still alive. No, I don’t have time to blog much these days. Instead of checking my email when I get up in the morning it’s baby time instead. You get the idea, and I wouldn’t change a thing!
Take a hint Mary Harney!
I’ve previously written at length about Mary Harney and my distaste for what she’s doing to the health service in Ireland so this image posted to Blogorrah made me smile.
There’s a general election on May 24th but I thought Harney would be retiring after her disgraceful stint as Minister for Health. It came as a shock that she’s actually standing in the election!
To see more of Mary Harney be sure to check out the cartoons on Langerland!
The red nosed Clarkson
The Internet is a great place to be. One moment you’re surfing through high quality blogs and the next you’re watching The Top Gear Band trying to play a Billy Ocean song for Red Nose Day in the UK last Friday.
Actually, I read Jeremy’s article in the Sunday Times and went looking for it so I had no excuse. I’m still amazed at how quickly these things make it online. I hope I don’t lose that wonder and become blase about this whole world-wide communications tool at our finger tips. Oh look! an email thingy. I should print that out and read it!
Did you see the last Top Gear of the season? Wasn’t it mad driving those “limos” through the heart of London? Looking forward to the Summer season! Oh look, there are clips of that too. It looks like the Billie Piper interview is in there somewhere too.
Simply because it’s unusual to get so many egos into one small room, here’s Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and others doing a sketch for Africa via Blogorrah. It’s a great laugh too.
Go out and buy the DVD when it’s available. It’s all for charity!