Categories
Humour

U.S. Military Clears A-Team Of Charges

This is great news! Finally they can join society and make use of their “make-anything-with-a-few-pipes-and-corrogated-iron” skills in legit industry!

Categories
Humour

Now we can all download the Internet!

Prompted by a question asked by Keith on #linux,

“ok well tell me a few good linux ditros that you can get everything for?”

I went searching and found a way that everyone can download the Internet themselves! It’s quite amazing that they’ve managed to do this but if you’re new to computers and you’re bored of trying to delete the Internet this is for you!

Categories
Humour

Bush Vs Bush

Ah, here’s an interesting interview (22MB .mov) between Governer Bush and President Bush. My, how he changed his opinions!

Categories
Humour

50 things to do before you're 30

Right lads, I need to get busy as I’ve still got a few things to do from this list in the next 2 years! Who’s on for a parachute jump? lol. (via Owen)

Too late! I’m 31 now. Doh! But life couldn’t be better!

Categories
Humour

Headlines from 2011

These headlines from the future make for good reading. hehe.

President Howard Dean vowed to continue pursuing the missing terrorists, but Richard Perl, Donald Rumsfeld et al. are still at large, being hidden by members of anti-Government militias in remote regions of the mountain states. The cabal took flight following the shocking 2009 discovery that “George W. Bush” was a humanoid robot loosely modeled on a combination of George H. W. Bush and former Indiana Senator Dan Quayle….

Categories
Humour Movies

Ford Sportka | The Evil Twin

I saw this short film at www.the-eviltwin.co.uk on “The Panel” on Network 2 the other night. Unfortunately, the site is an awful flash site. To watch the “Evil Twin” movie, click on “View Highlights”, and then click on “Clip one”. It’s a tiny box, and I can’t see any download link for a sane version.
Update! That site is gone, but you can get the Ford Sport Ka ads here: http://www.allowe.com/Humor/video.htm – just scroll down a little. Thanks Brian for getting that!
Here’s a lot more info about the advert. Good read.

Categories
Humour

gulfwar 2 on irc

If The Gulf War happened on IRC..
gulfwar2irc.jpg

Categories
Humour

ready.gov

An alternative explanation of the new US government “ready.gov” site. Go read, it’s funny! LOL!


If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.


If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.


If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.


If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.


Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!


The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.


Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the f**k away.


Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.


Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.


If a door is closed, karate chop it open.


If your building collapses, give yourself a bl*wj*b while waiting to be rescued.


Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.


After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.


If you’ve become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that s**t.


If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.


If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.


If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.


If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.


Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.


A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.


Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you’ll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.

Categories
Humour In the news

The Saddam and George show

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam Hussein’s challenge to a televised debate, Tim Dowling exclusively reveals what could have happened had they met.
Laugh, you have to!

Categories
Humour

U.N. Orders Wonka To Submit To …

U.N. Orders Wonka To Submit To Chocolate Factory Inspections

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, a longtime advocate of regime change in the Wonka Empire, is urging President Bush to consider military intervention should Wonka refuse to cooperate.