My girlfriend, smart, working class, beautiful, having big dreams in life, of more than 5 years cheated on me. I caught her cheating on me at the entrance of her complex with a “My MAN” you can call him NIGARIAN if you are fancy, she tried to hide beneath the BAKKIE’s dashboard of the Nigerian but her back and clothes were very clear to me, I went and asked her why she was hiding “I am afraid because you won’t believe me if I told you that this is an honest lift from Town” she said. I grabbed her out of the bakkie and she pulled herself inside but I eventually opened the gate using her body. I was so cantankerous because she was making fool of me by hiding in a nigarian’s car while I still showed her that I could see her. While I was grabbing her inside, the nigarian called the police claiming that there was a grievance at the complex. Police came and “I want you to leave right now!” she said. Maybe she was afraid that I was going to hit her, don’t you think? I guess so. The police asked me to leave and I phone my friend and my business partner to come and fetch me and I eventually left at around 10pm with some of my staff that I would need the following day because I was staying with her in her flat for about 5 months so I did not have a choice but to ask my business partner to accommodate me in his house.
That is what friends are for; never take your true friends for granted because ‘you’ll never know’ that is an advice I can give you right now. I got into my partner’s place I phoned her that I was going to come back to fetch all my staff and “No don’t come now, come tomorrow because I want to relax and forget about this whole drama” she said. I said ok I would come the following morning to fetch all my staff and “At what time should I come tomorrow?” I asked. “Anytime” she said. I continued advising her over the phone that sometimes she should open her mind and eyes but she kept on dropping my calls.
To love someone is not something easy, don’t you think people? I tried her both cell numbers but no reply till the morning 6:30am and I phoned her again just to let her that I was on my way to fetch the staff, no reply! I phoned her up until 8:30am still no reply. At 8:30 I went to her flat to fetch the staff. When I got there, I saw the Nigerian bakkie at her parking bay where I use to park my car. I checked her flat’s windows and door, all closed and misty! And I went to the door and I knocked. Her door has security gate also, while I was waiting for her to open the door and the gate for me, the nigarian opened the door and the gate for me but that took him 3 minutes to do all that. While the nigarian opened the door for me she stood behind that nigarian and they both went outside and both got sited on the complex stairs, leaving me at the door and people in the complex were watching this scene, 2 men, first proudly South African (me) and second Nigarian (claiming that “hey MY MAN, I’m from Zimbabwe not Nigeria”) use his accent to read his words I think it will sound great.
I got inside to her bedroom where my clothes were, they just got up so the bed was still chaotic and her sheet was full of wet fluids (her and Nigerian sperms) and pillows full of their sweat and I called her and I showed her the wet sheet and pillows and “No it did not even take 5 minutes, I stopped him because I knew that I was doing something wrong so you can’t call this a sex because to me sex is the sex when someone ejaculates in me” she confessed. “Did you use a condom?” I asked. “Yes” she confessed. I checked my condoms in her headboard drawer and “We have used 1 of your condoms” she informed me. “Why did you do this?” I asked. “I was a stupid and I was acting on my emotions because last night at 10pm we broke up” she replied. At that time the Nigerian is boosting sitting in his car. You can imagine!! We’ve been staying together for more than 5 moths and the worst part I was there same night and she chased me away coz she wanted a Nigerian and that day Nigerian was in control of her flat. She chose nigerian’s fuck not mine. I felt embarrassed and betrayed.
I kept on visiting her because I loved her and “I still”, so that I can get a truth because I knew she was mendacious to me eventually after 3 weeks “I did not cheat on you, It was just that day, Yes he ejaculated in me, and it is very difficult for me to say that to you because I do not want to hurt you” She confessed. I wanted to support her but how do you support a deceiver? A week after that 2 persons from her complex who witnessed these scenes approached me and Informed that they saw it happening 2 times (nigarian collected her 2 nights) while I was at home a week before but it was difficult for them to just say that because that might hit back to them.
When I came back I continued as usual but when we were busy making LOVE my pns was full of pure white fluid that looks like “Full cream AMASA” and I asked her what was that? “I’ve taken multi-vitamins so this is how my body cleans, sometimes it is a soap I use” she replied. “But why after five years I’ve never seen something like this but now? “Because I am growing up, that is why or if you don’t believe me let’s go and see gynaecologist” she replied. This is a proof that the nigarian did not use a condom because she sucked all the nigarian semen and kept it so that she can share that old semen with someone she claims she loves, me. I know now that she was nothing who she pretended to be.
If you have been with a woman for more than 5 years sometimes you don’t always play safe so I after all that I decided to go and do the HIV and AIDS TEST and I’m still negative but I must go back after 6 weeks so I am crossing my fingers. Should I become positive after 6 weeks or 3 months, I want you to know the whole story and I won’t hide my status so as to warn other people about situations like these. Being faithful to each other and having 1 partner is done by 2% out of 10%. Please people lean and take positives from what I’ve gone through.
After all what I’ve explained, do the following words make sense to you? “I am afraid because you won’t believe me if I told you that this is an honest lift from Town” You have been with your girlfriend for more than 5 years and let us say you have a problem say you break up then after 5 hours nigarian fucks your girlfriend and a day after she comes back and say “I love you it was a mistake” that is what she said to me. The worst part she is still in contact with this nigarian, she does not tell me the whole truth. What can I do? Must I continue giving her second chance? Will she do this again? Will I trust her again? Is she normal upstairs? Why did she do it?
When I initially found out about it, I was devastated. I asked her 100 questions with the word “Why” beginning each of them. She told me then, and several times since, that she didn’t know what made her do it. She says that she didn’t love the guy and regrets that it ever happened. Sometimes when we argue, the subject pops up and the drama starts all over again. She gets angry if I bring it up during an argument, saying that I continue to torture her with the mistake she made when I told her that I would forgive her. Seems kind of odd that she gets upset when she’s the one who cheated
Remember when I met this girl she was engaged, she had a ring on and I even asked her about the ring and she said “I am engaged to a guy back home(mdantsane) but that is over now because there is misunderstanding and I want to focus on my career” do you think that is a valid reason? That means she did the same thing to the guy she was engaged to, now I am maybe the second or third person she does this. Don’t you think I should warn other people about such a person because this also includes death (AIDS) to our community, we lose our brothers and sisters because WHY? We are quiet. Stop being quiet, protect your community that is what I’m doing.

Whatever trust I had for this girl vanished the morning I found out about the sex with the nigarian. It turned to hatred when I learnt exactly what she was really like. I’m sick of skanks like this lying, cruel, selfish, stupid and cheating and not caring about the feelings of all the people in their path. I know some people will say, let it go, and that revenge won’t heal me any quicker. I know where that advice is coming from and I appreciate that but I just disagree. I think people like this need to be exposed -I want all the people close to her to find out what she is really like. Maybe if she cheated on me once, twice, heck even ten times that I would be willing to let this go, but she was much dirtier than even that. I feel it is my civic duty to not only expose her to the other guys she was with but to the guys in the future.

Can I ever forgive her for what she did?
Forgiving someone after an episode of infidelity is one of the toughest emotional tests a man can be subjected to. There isn’t a lot of thinking involved because forgiveness starts in the heart. There is absolutely no excuse for cheating, but when women cheat – it often means something with her within the relationship is awry. Just as my girlfriend chose to spend time with another man, she could have also chosen to talk with me about the problem instead. Unfortunately, she chose the nagerian. For me, it is very difficult to continue a relationship when I’m tormented by the thoughts of nigerian touching someone I love. What’s even more agonizing is the fact that she allowed it. The problem here is, I haven’t truly forgiven her. But I must remember that forgiveness is a biblical lesson and I have to learn how to forgive someone or something at some point in my life. I don’t think I have the heart to forgive right now. I can rest assured that forgiving my girlfriend does not ignore, diminish, or excuse what she did. My forgiveness is more about healing myself and becoming stronger. Forgiveness enables us to live with the uncertainties of life without becoming bitter and resentful
I have learned that my girlfriend is emotional junk…she is a slave to her own emotions. For her, love is just a feeling. But for a man, or at least for me, love is a commitment you make in SPITE of your feelings. It is a decision “for better or for worse” to work things out, no matter what. But I can’t count on a her to make that kind of commitment. She is a woman – she will go with her feelings. As soon as she doesn’t feel “in love,” all bets are off! Because of this, I no longer trust her. I don’t think she can be counted on for truth or fidelity…thus I cannot respect her.
What really hurts me is the fact that, that week I was at home I was there to inform my family that I was going to be engaged to her and I wanted to marry her. I even asked my cousin sister to go and by me a ring for that, and right now the ring is with me but she is no longer with me but the Nigerian. Imagine you promise and make decisions to yourself that this is one and only, a person that you want to spend love and life with for the rest of your life, you tell your friends and family about the engagement. Two days after you come back from home, you see what I have seen. Maybe that is why it is so difficult to forgive and forget. I would not like something like this to happen to anyone because it hurts a lot more than you can imagine.

I asked her 5 days back if she is really ready to marry me and she said “I am ready” she replied. Can you understand her?
I told 1 of her best friend about the whole story so as to ask her to also give her an advice but my girlfriend was very angry at me for that and when I visited her she called the police to chase me away again for the second time. I guess that was for good.
Now please know that between me and she is OVER! After 5 years. It was a long wasted time. Me and the engagement guy at uMdantsane, we were preparing for the other guy (Nigerian), don’t you think. If I can still get the platform I can still advise her, support her and Love her but she chose Nigerian someone who just wants to fuck her, get her into drugs and leave her with adis. That means now it is my turn to go back to the drawing board. What goes around comes around!