irishblogs – Page 107 – Something Odd!

The Killinaskully Halloween Episode

If you missed the Halloween episode of Killinaskully find someone who has recorded it! We just watched it and I haven’t laughed as much in a long time!
It’s all because Dieter offered the local populace some new cheese he had. Nightmares were the hilarious result. Robin Hood was ridiculously funny, and it’s obvious the zombie dance got it’s inspiration from a certain Thrilling song!

Marvelous stuff by Pat Shortt and company. Check out the site above for video clips to give you a taste of what Killinaskully is like as well as the usual promotional gig and video stuff.

Introducing Ms. Dewey

Ms. Dewey is the attractive front end of Microsoft Search. She’s entertaining and comments on search items and does her own thing if you leave her alone for a minute or two! Search for President Bush or even gmail for some great stuff! If the search for Yo Mama doesn’t make you smile and laugh I don’t know what will!

That was fun for about five minutes but she’s definitely the most attractive search mascot/helper I’ve seen online and good linkbait to get people to try their search technology! (via the Natural Search Blog)

Linux Ubuntu Dapper to Edgy – no problem

I upgraded my Ubuntu 6.06 install to the new Edgy soon after it’s release using the simple command gksu "update-manager -c". Several hours later, and after clicking on a few dialog boxes to update files in /etc/, I’m not running Ubuntu Edgy on my desktop box.

Initially I wondered where Firefox 2.0 was hiding, but on my upgraded system it’s /usb/bin/firefox.ubuntu so it’ll live alongside version 1.5. I also noticed that when saving files in the GIMP the filename would disappear when I clicked on a new folder in the “bookmark” folder of the Gnome file dialog. Once I noticed, ctrl-c to record the filename and ctrl-v to paste it in again worked fine. I rename my files when saving so it’s not much of a hardship.

My machine seems slightly faster but I haven’t delved too deeply into what has been upgraded but Firefox, xchat, terminal, GIMP and Gthumb all work fine! Did your upgrade go as well?

Brians Latest Comments Cached

After the success I had with Ultimate Tag Warrior I turned my eye to another popular WordPress plugin that I use: Brian’s Latest Comments.

This plugin lists the latest comments on your blog and I wanted to squeeze every bit of performance out of my server so I guessed that caching the output of the plugin would save several queries for every page generation. Comments are cached for an hour. The cache isn’t invalidated by a new comment so don’t worry if the comments list doesn’t update immediately after a comment is made.

Install

I used the same cache directory that WP Cache 2.0 uses, wp-content/cache/. You’ll have to create that directory and make sure the webserver can write to it. The simplest way of doing that is by running the command chmod 777 cache. Download the file below and copy it into your plugins directory. If you’ve never installed the original plugin you’ll need to download it and read the install.txt to find out how to use the plugin.

Download

brianslatestcomments.txt – rename to .php and copy into your plugins directory.

Brighten your day

I didn’t know it but Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert lost his voice 18 months ago. He suffers from a rare condition called Spasmodic Dysphonia. Even though there is no cure for it he has written a great article about his experiences and how he never gave up trying to get his voice back. If you’re having a bad day this will cheer you up. Amazing and inspirational story.

To state the obvious, much of life’s pleasure is diminished when you can’t speak. It has been tough.

But have I mentioned I’m an optimist?

Edit! The post has been removed from Scott Adam’s website because it appears in his new book but thanks to Google Reader I found it again:

As regular readers of my blog know, I lost my voice about 18 months ago. Permanently. It’s something exotic called Spasmodic Dysphonia. Essentially a part of the brain that controls speech just shuts down in some people, usually after you strain your voice during a bout with allergies (in my case) or some other sort of normal laryngitis. It happens to people in my age bracket.

I asked my doctor – a specialist for this condition – how many people have ever gotten better. Answer: zero. While there’s no cure, painful Botox injections through the front of the neck and into the vocal cords can stop the spasms for a few months. That weakens the muscles that otherwise spasm, but your voice is breathy and weak.

The weirdest part of this phenomenon is that speech is processed in different parts of the brain depending on the context. So people with this problem can often sing but they can’t talk. In my case I could do my normal professional speaking to large crowds but I could barely whisper and grunt off stage. And most people with this condition report they have the most trouble talking on the telephone or when there is background noise. I can speak normally alone, but not around others. That makes it sound like a social anxiety problem, but it’s really just a different context, because I could easily sing to those same people.

I stopped getting the Botox shots because although they allowed me to talk for a few weeks, my voice was too weak for public speaking. So at least until the fall speaking season ended, I chose to maximize my onstage voice at the expense of being able to speak in person.

My family and friends have been great. They read my lips as best they can. They lean in to hear the whispers. They guess. They put up with my six tries to say one word. And my personality is completely altered. My normal wittiness becomes slow and deliberate. And often, when it takes effort to speak a word intelligibly, the wrong word comes out because too much of my focus is on the effort of talking instead of the thinking of what to say. So a lot of the things that came out of my mouth frankly made no sense.

To state the obvious, much of life’s pleasure is diminished when you can’t speak. It has been tough.

But have I mentioned I’m an optimist?

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first. So every day for months and months I tried new tricks to regain my voice. I visualized speaking correctly and repeatedly told myself I could (affirmations). I used self hypnosis. I used voice therapy exercises. I spoke in higher pitches, or changing pitches. I observed when my voice worked best and when it was worst and looked for patterns. I tried speaking in foreign accents. I tried “singing” some words that were especially hard.

My theory was that the part of my brain responsible for normal speech was still intact, but for some reason had become disconnected from the neural pathways to my vocal cords. (That’s consistent with any expert’s best guess of what’s happening with Spasmodic Dysphonia. It’s somewhat mysterious.) And so I reasoned that there was some way to remap that connection. All I needed to do was find the type of speaking or context most similar – but still different enough – from normal speech that still worked. Once I could speak in that slightly different context, I would continue to close the gap between the different-context speech and normal speech until my neural pathways remapped. Well, that was my theory. But I’m no brain surgeon.

The day before yesterday, while helping on a homework assignment, I noticed I could speak perfectly in rhyme. Rhyme was a context I hadn’t considered. A poem isn’t singing and it isn’t regular talking. But for some reason the context is just different enough from normal speech that my brain handled it fine.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.

I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe it’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.

My brain remapped.

My speech returned.

Not 100%, but close, like a car starting up on a cold winter night. And so I talked that night. A lot. And all the next day. A few times I felt my voice slipping away, so I repeated the nursery rhyme and tuned it back in. By the following night my voice was almost completely normal.

When I say my brain remapped, that’s the best description I have. During the worst of my voice problems, I would know in advance that I couldn’t get a word out. It was if I could feel the lack of connection between my brain and my vocal cords. But suddenly, yesterday, I felt the connection again. It wasn’t just being able to speak, it was KNOWING how. The knowing returned.

I still don’t know if this is permanent. But I do know that for one day I got to speak normally. And this is one of the happiest days of my life.

But enough about me. Leave me a comment telling me the happiest moment of YOUR life. Keep it brief. Only good news today. I don’t want to hear anything else.

Choosing a pension

I know, I know, it’s late in the day, but I’m looking at my pension options. I’m self employed and if I start a pension before October 31st the tax I owe for 2005 will be reduced by 42% of the lump sum that I invest. As you can imagine, it’s well worth buying a pension but it’s important to get value for money so I need to choose carefully.

Some links I found:

The Financial Regulator has a wealth of information on all financial products, mortgages, insurance, investments and they have a “pensions made easy” document I must read. It can be downloaded as a pdf or as a series of WMA sound files for easy digestion.
PRSA’s and Pensions on askaboutmoney.com – definitely worth reading. A goldmine of information. Start on their links page.
The Irish Pensions Board have a handy pensions calculator to work out how much you’ll need to save.
IRISH PENSION FUNDS to JULY 2006

Who offers the best pension? I imagine that’s like asking, “who is the best football team?” Everyone has their own answer.

We’re Hoff and running

John Arlidge of The Sunday Times interviews David Hasselhoff. The Hoff is traveling around Europe to publicize his new single, “Jump In My Car”. Have you heard it yet? It was played off the radio by pleading texts from listeners and laughter from DJs. The interview makes for a great read, he’s so full of himself it’s funny!

“What is Jump In My Car, my latest single out this month, really about?” he asks unprompted. Without pausing he answers his own question. “Essentially, it’s about driving along trying to get girls to jump in my car.”

Is that something he knows a lot about, I ask. He nods.

Just what does the star of Knight Rider and Baywatch get up to in his car these days? You’ll have to read this entertaining interview to find out!
Photo by Dwane Senior

I'll be there too

See you tomorrow at BarCamp Ireland! There’s going to be a big crowd and great speakers. Tom will be there and he has volunteered to speak twice. I won’t be talking, but come up to me and ask me about WordPress MU and wordpress.com, I’ll be the one wearing the WordPress tshirt!

I see that the wiki has been updated with the following message:

All attendees, whether you have signed up already or not, please send your contact email address to barcampireland at gmail dot com. Thanks.

It’s a public wiki and I haven’t seen the same message on the BarCamp Ireland Blog so maybe hold off sending that email until there’s a similar announcement tomorrow. Me paranoid? Never!

While I’m here, blogging at 23:30, this will be of interest to the rest of Automattic and anyone else who works at home – Myths About Working From Home. You never really leave the job do you? (via)

Buying a house in Ireland

Buying a house will probably be the biggest purchase most people will make in their lives. The process is littered with the baggage of ages, you have to get your own engineer, a solicitor must check the title of the land even though it may be a new estate, money goes here, money goes there and it’s all very stressful.

I went through that hell almost 2 years ago but it was brought to mind again recently when I was asked for advice on the subject. I’m no auctioneer or lawyer but here is a list of what I think you need to do when making a house purchase. The list is tailored towards the first time buyer because that’s exactly what I was when I bought. If you already have a property you have the headache of selling that too.

How big is your mortgage?

Finding the best mortgage is a tricky problem and there are a number of options – go directly to a bank or go through a broker. Hopefully your broker will be independent and will give you the best mortgage he can find but seems unlikely in light of the fact that brokers receive varying commissions from different banks and lending institutions. Brendan Burges answers frequently asked questions about mortgages on the askaboutmoney.com forums covering topics as diverse as mortgage repayment protection, tax relief and insurance.

Budget

You have your mortgage but besides the cost of the house, there are fees for all the services you must use to make the purchase. A solicitor will normally charge 1% or even 1.5% of the house price for their services. An engineer will charge anything from €400 and up depending on the size and condition of the property. You’ll also have to set aside money to purchase furniture and all those things your parents had in the kitchen that you took for granted. I have to admit I completely misjudged how much this would cost. If you like spending money though, buying for your home can be as satisfying as buying the latest gadget or a new pair of shoes!

Hire a solicitor

Look up the Golden Pages and point your finger at the page and you’ll find a solicitor. Some are better than others, some are more paranoid and careful. You want the paranoid one on your side. Ask friends or family for recommendations. If you’re in Cork, email me and I’ll recommend the solicitor I used.

Find your dream home

It may seem strange that this is not top of the list but it’s useless dreaming about owning a mansion if you can’t afford it. Getting mortgage approval first and finding out what your budget is will help bring your dreams more in line with reality and possibly down to earth with a crash. Use myhome.ie, and use Google to find local auctioneers. Examine the prices in the area you’d like to live. If you are really diligent, go down to City Hall or the local council and find out what developments are in store for your area in the next five years. You don’t want a sewage plant opening next door.

Hire an engineer

Your broker or bank, or solicitor, or somebody will recommend an engineer or architect. He’s important because he’ll spot the damp wall that means you may have to spend thousands on a new heating system. It’s also a formality too because he can only do a visual inspection unless he rips up floor boards, moves built-in storage out of the way and peels back wallpaper. There will be things he misses that you’ll curse him for months later. You’ll have signed his disclaimer form so just live with it. The banks want someone qualified to certify that the building you’re spending their money on is something they can sell in the event that you default on the mortgage. Why the buyer can’t hire an engineer and provide that report to each buyer is beyond me, but that’s “how it’s done” here.

House Valuation

The bank will send someone out to value the house, but guess who pays? It’ll cost you, the buyer, about €100.

Haggle and Bargain

By the end of the process, you will regard auctioneers as the lowest form of … Let’s just say, they probably squeezed you for every penny you’re worth didn’t they? If you’re a first time buyer the auctioneer is going to love you. You can be a quick sale, he gets his commission and deal’s done. Use that when you’re haggling over the price of the property. I’m not very good at this, if you aren’t either, it might be worth doing some research and practicing. It could save you a few thousand Euro. You do not not sign a contract yet.

House Insurance

Why do I need house insurance before I’ve bought the house? It’s because you have an interest in the property. You will also want to have the house insured the moment you sign on the dotted line. What if someone burns down your new home the same day you buy it? It’s another requirement that you have house insurance before the bank releases the funds for your mortgage. You can buy from the bank or broker providing you with the mortgage, but you probably shouldn’t. Shop around. 123.ie is one site that springs to mind but almost every insurance company has a website these days where you can get an online quote.

Mortgage protection policy

Nobody likes to think about death but a life assurance policy is another of the bank’s requirements before you can get a mortgage. If you die, the bank wants the loan they made to you paid off quickly and without fuss. A life assurance policy does that. Like the purchase of house insurance, you should shop around. Rates and options can vary wildly, but the cheapest policy is one that covers only death, and where the amount paid out decreases with the life of the policy, in line with the mortgage value.

Sign on the dotted line

Once your mortgage has been finalised, your house insurance bought and all the land registrary checks made by your solicitor, then you can sign the contract to buy the house. If your mortgage isn’t ready, and on the off chance that something goes wrong (perhaps a problem with your life assurance?) that makes buying a mortgage impossible, the seller could sue you or make life very difficult for you by looking for the agreed price of the property. If all goes according to plan then well done, you’re on the property ladder! You’ll owe the bank a huge sum of money every month for the foreseeable future “but at least you own your own home”! I owe the bank a big fat mortgage too so I’m in the same boat. 800 mortgages are issued every day in Ireland and despite the rise in interest rates that doesn’t look like it’s going to slow down any time soon.

Google Sitemap WP Plugin Tip

If you use the Google sitemap plugin for WordPress it’s probably a good idea to disable the auto rebuild option. This is especially true if you have a large blog and a small server!

Go to Options->Sitemap and uncheck “Rebuild sitemap if you change the content of your blog”.

You can regenerate the sitemap by calling a URL with a secret key. It’s listed on the configuration page. Copy it into your bookmarks or make a cron job to call that URL at a time when your server isn’t busy. Posting to this blog would timeout quite often if the server was loaded in any way. If it wasn’t loaded before, it almost always was after! It took some time for me to figure out that it was the Sitemap generator.

The sitemap generator plugin is a great program, it does what it says on the box, but disable to the auto-update feature if you’re having problems posting!

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