Turkmenbashi the great has died

Wow, I just saw on the news that Saparmurat Niyazov, or as he calls himself, Beyik Turkmenbashi died last night of a heart attack. His country, Turkmenistan was ruled by this eccentric man for 24 years and was featured in an article in the Sunday Times Magazine last weekend! I was planning on blogging the article but it is really weird that he died just as I was about to. One could become paranoid.

Turkmenbashi was a strange man, maybe even a little loopy and crazy. He banned make-up because he said Turkmen women were beautiful enough, dogs were banned in the capital city he was building in desert and he even built an ice rink in a desert where the temperture can reach 50C.

He reinvented the calendar and ordered his people to gnaw bones. He is gilding the desert in gold and marble, and the driving test is a questionnaire on his philosophy of life. Waldemar Januszczak infiltrates the world according to the leader of Turkmenistan

In 2002, he decided his country needed a new calendar. So he invented one. January was renamed after himself: Turkmenbashi. April was changed to his mother’s name, Gurbansoltan. And September became Ruhnama, the title of the large pink philosophy book he wrote, the one you have to answer questions on to pass your driving test.

The Ruhnama, or Book of the Spirit, explains the thinking behind all this. The president took 10 years to write the national book, and everyone taking any sort of exam, from schoolkids to prime ministers, is required to answer questions on it. You can’t miss the Ruhnama. It’s lollypop pink and lime green. To my eyes it looks as if it should contain a collection of Telletubby stories rather than the collected thoughts of the world’s most eccentric dictator.

5 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Collin tagged me as did Toni to reveal five things you didn’t know about me. Frank left a comment here ages ago asking something similar so it’s about time to dish up the dirt on me!

  1. I’m slightly alergic to dairy products. So are most people. If your head is all stuffy and it feels like you have a cold, all year long, then you might be too. Especially after eating Black Forest Gateaux, or another rich creamy dessert the previous night! It started in my early twenties, and it wasn’t until I met my wife a few years ago that she recognised the symptoms.
  2. It’s true that you’ll notice cars you’ve owned before, and I take special care to look at the reg plate of any Green Toyota Yaris that passes. I spotted the one I owned around town a few times and when bored in traffic I’ll add up the numbers on the registration plate of the car in front of me. For example; 06 C 253. 2+3=5.
  3. My mother was a school teacher and I wanted to become a teacher but thankfully I was five points short (about one grade too low) to do that course in college.
  4. I worked 4 days in a pub, several August months in a school bookshop, and a summer as a porter in a hospital operating theatre. (and recognised people years later when I went back for an operation!) I like Scrubs.
  5. 2006 has been a wonderful year, but 2007 is going to be even more special. I’m going to leave no.5 for a little while longer.

Pass it on: Mark Matt, Donal, Ryan, Screaming Lady and Haydn.

The oldest lap dancing club

Grandad makes the case for Newgrange being the oldest lap dancing club in the world. At over 5,000 years old it’s an ancient structure and quite important today, it being the Winter Solstice, but I’m not quite convinced that it was a lap dancing club.

I mean, if the girls had to swing around a wooden pole wouldn’t they have got slivers of wood in their hands. Polished steel works much better, or so I’m told. I suppose after a while the ol’ pole would have been worn smooth and I’m sure things would have gone swimmingly well then.

I don’t know where he comes up with the idea of orgies there either. I mean, this is Ireland, like.

In light of the day that’s in it, I have a nice picture of An Fear Marbh off the Kerry coast at sunset on my photoblog. Feel free to wonder why a man is lying on his back in the Atlantic and how that relates to the above..

Crazy driving in the fog

The last 36 hours have been a fog filled void in most of Ireland and even in the UK too. Radio broadcasters have urged caution on the roads as visibility dropped down to a few yards in places.

It was into this mess that I drove this morning. Thick fog, the sun just peeping over the hills and visibility down to less than 10 yards. My drive from Blarney this morning was along a very straight country road that follows the contours of the surrounding hills up and down, blocking the view of oncoming traffic until the hill rises at the end of the straight stretch. It’s also a 60km/h road.

In deep fog I’m driving carefully and I spot headlights getting bigger and bigger in my mirror until the car behind is tailgating me at no more than a few feet. I could sense the frustration of the driver behind but hey, it’s foggy, I’m driving at the speed limit. There’s no way I’ll be bullied into driving faster in those conditions. Eventually he overtook me of course but we caught up with him at the junction sitting on the top of the hill, so here you go. To the driver of 98-D-455, “You’re a crazy driver! Was it worth risking all our lives to be ahead of me at the junction?”

2006-12-20-image050.jpg

Update! Driving along the same road back to Blarney this afternoon a Garda (Irish police force) car appeared and drove at speed until it was right behind me. It overtook me later in the 50km/h part of the road and sped off. Meanwhile a few seconds later another Garda car passed the other way speeding too. Why the hell do I stick to the speed limit if the police force don’t?

What song defines Christmas for you?

Which of the following songs says “Christmas” to you? Which song makes you think of Christmas as soon as you hear it? Ian Dempsey on Today FM this morning asked this question and the result surprised me.

Silent Night
Fairytale of New York

Continue reading “What song defines Christmas for you?”

Linkbaiter of the year 2006

Funnily enough, I bought an issue of Time magazine today in which someone is complaining about the white covers of recent issues and expressing the hope that the person of the year cover would have a little more impact.

Little did they know that Time would become linkbaiter of the year by naming everyone on the Internet as person of the year for 2006! More on Techmeme, Copyblogger and lots of others.

Time still has a white cover however!

Time

Chosen To Suffer

A mentally ill and severely depressed patient walks from morning mass at a convalescence home. She has been living here for many months because her elderly parents cannot cope with her at home.

She stops the priest who has just offered up the body and blood of Christ in holy mass and asks him, “why am I suffering?” His reply both startles her and frightens her, “You are chosen to suffer for everybody else on this earth”.
She asks him if she will get better and his reply is a short and terse, “I don’t know”.

Where is God? Where is hope?

“You are chosen to suffer for everybody else on this earth”.

Langerland do the Nativity

Langerland bring their latest creation, a Christmas story, The Nativity to the big screen with all your favourite characters. Even if you don’t recognise the names there’s something in this story for everyone!

langerlandthenativity.jpg

It goes without saying that if you have strong feelings about Christianity you probably don’t want to watch this! (via)

And just in case you missed it, their music through the ages will have you cringing, but at least they let Mary have the last err, word.

Bupa to leave Irish market

I can just imagine the cheers and celebration going on at VHI HQ this afternoon as it was announced that Bupa, the second largest health insurer (with 22% of the market) is going to pull out of the Irish market because of risk-equalisation.

Two things really annoy me about this decision:

  • When they set up shop in the first place they knew that risk equalisation was inevitable. It’s a side effect of how the Irish health insurance market works. Everyone pays the same premium, the incumbant VHI has older and more costly members and risk equalisation meant compensating VHI. They should have planned realistically for it although how one can plan to compensate another company a sum of money larger than one’s own entire profits is beyond me.
  • Why couldn’t they have come up with a more imaginative solution. If VHI had simply given Bupa a percentage of their elderly members to even out the age spread of their memberships then VHI wouldn’t have had a leg to stand on and risk equalisation wouldn’t be an issue.

I’m a Bupa member as is my wife. A friend of mine works for Bupa in Fermoy. We’re all sorely disappointed at the decision today. There’s still Vivas Health but I wonder what their plan is to cope with the huge payouts VHI will want off them in a couple of years.

The company is blaming the move on a scheme known as risk equalisation – which it says compels it to pay €1 million every week to compensate other insurance providers for covering older consumers.

The company claimed the move would force it to hand over €161m to its rival over three years, even though its profits for the period would be just €64m.

Michele linked to a newsletter written by Martin O’Rourke, the boss of Bupa Ireland. As I expect the Bupa website will disappear sooner rather than later and this message with it, I’ll copy/paste it here after the jump as a record of what evils a monopoly does to an industry.

bupa-ireland.jpg

Continue reading “Bupa to leave Irish market”

Britney and Donncha's underwear scandal

Donncha O Callaghan Over the past week Britney Spear’s escapades while out on the town have made headlines all over the Internet but here in Ireland, sports fans have been witness to another underwear malfunction in the form of Donncha O’Callaghan’s superman attire at a recent rugby match! Ladies in the crowd were suitably impressed although the referee did tell Donncha to put his pants on before play could continue. Much to the relief of male supporters and the chagrin of the ladies I’m sure!

Yes, tv cameras were there and the coverage below (via) is just too shocking to show so click “more” to view the clip!

Continue reading “Britney and Donncha's underwear scandal”