The Venice of the North Rises Again

AI-manipulated photo of St. Patrick Street in Cork city with the road replaced by a canal filled with boats including motorboats and a small rowing boat, with pedestrians walking along the quayside past shops including Barter, with trees and street furniture lining the waterway.

AI-manipulated photo of Washington Street in Cork city with the road replaced by a canal carrying boats including a blue narrowboat named "ORIEL", a white rowing boat, and a blue motor launch with passengers in life jackets, with shops including Kida Hair and Razors Barber visible on either side, a green construction crane in the background, and a South Main Street sign on the right.

Well, I have to hand it to Cork City Council. After years of roadworks, diversions, temporary traffic lights, and that perpetual stretch of Patrick Street that looked like a minor archaeological dig, they’ve finally revealed the masterplan and it’s magnificent. They’ve ripped out the tarmac entirely and restored the old channels of the River Lee that ran beneath the city centre for the past 240 years. St. Patrick Street is now navigable by motorboat, and Washington Street has a functioning canal service complete with what appears to be a narrowboat called the Oriel running a shuttle to the courthouse.

Parking signs have been replaced by mooring cleats. The 220 bus route now terminates at a floating pontoon outside Penneys. I’m told that Eason’s is doing a roaring trade in waterproof editions, and a new Dublin Bikes-style scheme called “Cork Canoes” launches next week, but knowing the council, the docking stations won’t be ready for another while yet.

In fairness, they’ve finally earned the title. Cork: the Venice of the North. Truly, the real capital at last.

Happy April Fools’ Day. These images were obviously generated using AI. Cork City Council has not, to my knowledge, flooded the city, but after some winters, nature has a good go at it herself.

The naked Brian Cowen

Earlier this month someone walked into the National Gallery in Dublin, Ireland and hung a nude painting of our illustrious leader, Brian Cowen, in the “National Portrait Collection” section of the gallery.
Another painting was hung in a nearby gallery. More details can be found on this Tribune article.

Brian Cowen

Brian Cowen

All a bit of fun right? Sure, nobody wants to see a satirical nude photo of themselves hung up in public but the pictures were only on display for a short time. One or two newspapers reported on it and the national broadcaster, RTE, carried the following report on Monday night:

I never saw the original news clip. I was barely aware it had happened until this morning when the blogs and twitter were all alight with talk of the apology RTE broadcast last night. They also removed the news clip and article from their site.

RTE has to apologise and be censored for reporting the news? What sort of country are we living in? If Fianna Fail had let things lie all this would have blown over and be forgotten by now.

Ray D’Arcy speaking on TodayFM (a private national radio station) revealed the painter is Conor Casbey yesterday, but he wasn’t the one who hung the paintings. After the show yesterday a Garda called to the TodayFM offices looking for the email of the artist to caution him. The request was refused. Ray admitted that if the Garda hadn’t called he wouldn’t be talking about the paintings today.

More coverage by Irish bloggers:

Grandad has a different viewpoint. Brave of you πŸ™‚

Control of the media is essential at this time, lest they say something negative about His Holiness. In fact, the Director General of RTE should immediately be reassigned to a menial task in the Ringsend Sewage Station as a lesson to the rest of those who would speak ill of our Great Government.

We must all revere and adore His Godliness for his inspired leadership in this time of crisis. Nothing negative must pass our lips.

The North Koreans have the right idea.
cowanposter

(Great caricature by Alan Cavanagh)

So, next time you see something funny about Gordon Brown or Barack Obama be glad you don’t live in Ireland. Spread the news. Check out #picturegate on Twitter.

PS. Many many more blogs are covering picturegate now but take a look at this thread on Creative Ireland. Great photoshopping going on there! (Alastair)

cowen-1