Tag Archives: Humour

Just got a phone call…

Me: Hello!
Caller: Hello, can I speak to the Eircom account holder?
Me: Err, speaking.
Caller: Hi, my name is Laura and I’m ringing from Tele2 in Donegal and I want to tell you about our ..
Me: Haha, don’t bother, I’m not even with Eircom any more!
Caller: Oh! who’re you with?
Me: Ah, UTV Talk.
Caller: oh, we can’t compete with them, they’re one of the best!
Me: Yeah, goodbye!

* Names have been changed.

So, Go to UTV Talk for free calls at off-peak times to local, national and UK numbers, and use Telestunt if you’re ringing abroad or mobiles. Definitely the cheapest phone calls in Ireland!

Ray D’Arcy and co of TodayFM fame held a poll today to decide what word we, the listening public, would like to see in the next edition of the Collins Dictionary. The clear winner of the poll was the word langer! According to the Cork Slang Dictionary, Langer is defined as “A disagreeable person.” but can also be applied to a fool or idiot.
So, go login to the Collins Word Exchange site and submit “langer”!
After doing a quick search, looks like “langer” is already there:

Langer noun

Bernhard. born 1957, German professional golfer: won the US Masters Championship (1985, 1993)

But don’t let that stop you, looks like there’s already a discussion started on the site!
While I’m on the subject, check out the excellent langerland.com!
Update! Looks like we succeeded somewhat – it’s now in the “living dictionary definitions”:

langer noun Irish (Derog. slang)
1. a fool; an idiot
2. (Slang) penis 3. adjective langers extremely drunk

Today’s Budget Day in Ireland, here’s the main points of the Budget. Looks like a slight pay increase thanks to his increasing the standard rate band by €1,400! 🙂
That €40 tax on credit cards has been fixed – it’ll now be possible to change your credit cards without paying the tax multiple times in one year!

‘course what he forgot was the following…

<ghoti> taxes on new cars will be raised by 35%
<ghoti> they’re reintroducing property taxes.
* pron contemplates gagging ghoti
<doc|work> are you serious about car taxes?
<Stewie> doc|work: it’s ghoti
<doc|work> Stewie, i’m not around here all that often 🙂
<doc|work> seriously though?
<ghoti> doc|work: no, i’m just trying to scare people.
<moonbeam> what happened with car tax?
<pron> nothing yet
<Stewie> moonbeam: it trebled
<Stewie> they’re sick of all the accidents with the luas, so anyone with a car registered in the greater dublin area has to pay a 2000 EUR a year bond before they can get car tax
<Stewie> if you don’t have an accident with a luas, you get your 2K back in 5 years time
<murble> Stewie: with interest?
<bigbro> Stewie: Are you making this up?
<Stewie> murble: with interest deducted, yes
<loki> Stewie: that a bit steep.
<ghoti> murble: yes, they look interested when they pay it back to you.
<Stewie> bigbro: of course not
<pron> bigbro: of course not
<bigbro> Stewie: Good way to raise investment capital…
<murble> bigbro: i’d imagine car dealers will be a bit pissed off.
<Stewie> also, if you do have an accident with a luas, you have to get new license plates with “I’m a luas fscker” written on them
<Stewie> bigbro: have I given it away yet?
<bigbro> Stewie: Better would be “Fully licensed – but can’t fscking drive!”
<ectoraige> You mean they haven’t gone with mortars targeting the yellow boxes?
<ghoti> people lying about the budget. tut-tut.

When Your Co-Worker is Away… you can have some fun!
Battle of the Brands! hehe.

Thank you Per for pointing me at B.C. today. Terrible attempt at humour though! 🙂

Fancy a swim? Someone in a white car obviously thought they were James Bond! Look what happened when they tried to fish it out of the water!

Here’s a great optical illusion! Watch the video!
(via awln)