Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox! hehe.

Famous Irish Quotes

"Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox!" What Zig and Zag were caught
shouting (with Ian Dempsey laughing in the background) when the cameras
returned prematurely from a commercial break during 'Dempsey's Den'. Zag
was tossing the Bosco puppet around. 

"Stephen Roche, the only British or Irish cyclist to win the Tour De France."
ITV commentator. 


Larry Gogan: "With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?"
Contestant: "Hamlet." 


Larry Gogan: "Name the BBC's Grand Prix commentator? .... I'll give you a
hint. It's something you suck...."
Contestant: "Oh, DickieDavies." (Murray Walker is the correct answer). 


Larry Gogan: "What was Jeeve's occupation?"
Contestant: "He was a carpenter." 


Larry Gogan: "Complete this well known phrase. 'As happy as.....' hint
think of me."
Contestant: "Flies on sh1te." 


Larry Gogan: (after a caller got none of 18 questions right on the Just a
Minute quiz) - "Ah sure the questions didn't really suit you did they?"
Caller: "Ah go fuck off Larry you're only an old bollox." 


Larry Gogan: "What do you call a female cow?" .... 
"When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd scored one."
RTE Commentator George Hamilton 


If you're a fifty pence piece in a pile of ten pence pieces,you have to
shine so much brighter in order to be noticed." Bono. 


"I can hold a note and I know I'm not ugly so, in ways, that's enough."
Keith Duffy of Boyzone. 


"That mail used to be handled by hand, now it's handled manually."
Chief Executive of An Post, John Hines. 


"The referendum went as most people hoped it would."
Irish Times editorial displaying acute understanding of the Democratic
Process. 


"Clap your feet!"
Bernie of the Nolan Sisters. 


"British Army bomb disposal squads who attempt to defuse carbombs early and
before areas are properly evacuated will be responsible for endangering
civilian lives."
IRA statement 1988. 


"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"
George Hamilton as Butreguanio comes off against Ireland. 


"The idea is well and good in theory, but tell me this, who is going to
feed them?"
Wicklow Councillor objects to a proposal to boost tourism by putting
gondolas on Blessington Lake. 


"We are not prepared to stand idly by and be murdered in our beds."
Rev. Ian Paisley. 


"What we are doing is in the interest of everybody, bar possibly the
consumer."
Aer Lingus spokesman. 


"Deep down I'm a very shallow person." Charles Haughey. 


"I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it."
Jack Charlton on hurling. 


"Outside HIV in Grafton Street."
Gay Byrne plugging Hot House Flowers appearance. 


THOSE DISGRACEFUL MADONNA PICTURES - FOUR PAGE SPECIAL INSIDE The 
Sun 


VIOLENCE DELAYS PEACE - LENIHAN
Irish Times 


CONCERNED RAPIST WORE A CONDOM
Evening Herald 


MRS REAGAN BETTER AFTER FALL
Irish Times 


SHARING THE BURDEN OF SCHIZOPHRENIA
Irish Times 


DOG SHOOTS MAN
Evening Press 


TEENAGE MUTANT BINGE AT THURLES
Feile '92 


RAPIST: I THOUGHT SHE WAS MY WIFE
Star 


MAN KEPT ARMS UNDER BED AFTER RELATIVE'S DEATH
Irish Times 


DEAD MAN INJURED IN CRASH
Irish Times 


"A top level Garda internal inquiry is being held in Connemara into an
allegation that a local garda shot a cow .... There has been no statement
from the cow." Irish press. 


"Mrs Windsor can come and go as she wants."
Gerry Adams on a visit by the Queen to Northern Ireland. 


"I think the Irish woman was freed from slavery by bingo .... They can go
out now, dressed up, with their handbags and have a drink and play bingo.
And they deserve it."
John B. Keane. 


Interviewer: Is it not dangerous to sell people knives called Rambo Knives?
Shopkeeper: I wouldn't say so, a lot of them can't spell. 

"I was called out to a non-existant phone call. When I returned I lifted my
glass, smelled and said 'My God, this is foul,it smells like p1ss'. A voice
from the back called out, 'We know, but whose?'."
Wine connoisseur T.P. Whelehan at a tasting in Trinity College. 


Jim Mitchell TD: You're always mixing me up with someone else.
Ceann Comhairle, Joe Brennan: Yes, I'm always confusing you with that
fellow Mitchell. 


"Ludicrous. Ridiculous."
1989 edition of Collins Concise Dictionary defines the word 'Irish'. 


"Get married again."
Charles Haughey to women asking for an increase in the widows' pension. 


Irish Indo after the Gardai raided a massage parlor (knocking shop) in
Rathmines. This is the arresting Garda's testimony: "When we entered the
premises the defendant was naked and in an aroused state. When asked the
reason for his presence at the establishment, he said he was being treated
for a GAA injury." 


Job Application Form: Do you support the overthrow of the Government by
force, subversion or violence?
Applicant: Violence.

---

False alarm. 🙁

Keane’s back, according to this post to the ILUG social list, but I can’t find anything on the mainstream news sites yet.

The fallout from the expulsion of Roy Keane continues, Peoples Republic of Cork offers counseling for World Cup 2002 Victims. Warning! This page includes harrowing scenes of Cork people suffering and in distress.

John looked it up, and found out the mickmaccarthyisawanker.com is still available..

Gerry Ryan’s show took a text-poll this morning, “Was Mick McCarthy right to send Roy home?” 70% answered “No”. I voted “No” as well.

Ode to Roy

This is a tale of the man called Roy,
And how he filled our hearts with joy,
Until the wankers in the FAI
Booked a pitch that was completely dry.

A muscle tightened and a tendon stretched,
Roy was livid, and the lads said ‘Sketch!’
Roy said “All credit to me at the end of the day,
Me go in goal? No fuckin’ way!”

Roy had a go at Bonner and Kelly,
Coz while the team was training, the keepers watched telly.
There’d been bust-ups before, this wasn’t the first,
Meanwhile the players were dying of thirst.

Cos the FAI made a deal for some energy drink,
But they forgot to bring it, so what did Roy think?
“You’re some langer!” he screamed at Mick,
While Duff explained to Jason that ‘langer’ meant ‘prick’.

So Roy packed his bags and went to bed,
To rest all the blood that rushed to his head.
He said he’d go home, but would he really?
Meanwhile Mick had called up Colin Healy.

“We need you Colin, pack your bag,
You’re in the squad coz Roy lost the rag.”
Roy rang Alex, who was at home in his gaff,
And Alex said “Roy, you’re havin’ a laugh!”

“You’re at the World Cup, the centre stage,
Put a cork in your murderous rage!”
So Roy changed his mind and decided to stay,
And told Mick it’s cool, he just had a bad day.

The next day Roy told his story in the papers,
But Mick had enough of his captain’s capers
He called a meeting, and Jason got lost,
And Roy was asked to explain to the boss.

What it was that was getting him down,
Roy’s vein popped out, and he made that frown.
“Obviously as I said like, at the end of the day,
I am the captain and I want my own way.”

“I want keepers to train, and I want a decent pitch,
And a decent manager, you son-of-a-bitch!”
Quinner, Kelly and Stan stood up tall,
And said “Roy, you’re not the only one who can kick a ball!”

“And Roy said “I know, Duff can play too,
And other Keane and Reid, but Christ look at you!
You’re has-beens, you’re muppets who can’t take the heat,
And Quinn you can head, but did you know you have feet?!”

Mick said “That’s it, you’re taking the piss”,
As Jason arrived and said “What did I miss?”
Roy was not welcome, and told to go home,
And in true FAI style, they got RyanAir on the phone.

There weren’t any flights until the next day,
So Roy went to bed while the whole country prayed.
Please help us Jebus, Bertie and the Pope,
Because without Roy in Japan, we haven’t a hope.

XBox links:
Xbox Economics – Mark reminded me of this article I saw linked from winterspeak a few days ago.
The Register has more on a similar vein.

From Scripting.com: The New Economy
Why I love pop-up ads
Beating Bill

I post because I will get around to reading everything, eventually. Just like that big stack of books at home. I’m off home. Don’t forget to turn off the light.

I have a totally table-free template done for this blog, I tried it on a test blog and it got screwed up royally. Back to the drawing board and more testing.
Still, I learned a lot about CSS positioning, and about the differences between Mozilla and MSIE (it displays properly in Mozilla, no apologies, MSIE just plain ignored a black border around my new logo.. *grrr*) Of course, Mozilla doesn’t respect the ‘transparent’ setting of background-color properly. It’ll use the document background, not the colour of the div behind it. More work to be done.

The election is over, FIanna Fail get in again, Fianna Gael are facing their biggest defeat in years. Sinn Fein have a few seats. Labour didn’t do too well. It’ll probably be a Fianna Fail, Progressive Democrats government.

Good news and bad news!
Flor Griffin are going to replace my camcorder, I’ll call in tomorrow and pick up a new one. Hopefully this one won’t display any artifects. (thanks Mark!)
RSI is worse than ever this morning, pain is shooting up my arm. I really need that holiday!

The Irish General Election is on today. My dad’s working at the polling booth in our local area. They’re open from 7.30am to 10.30pm – I’m voting later.

If you use Galeon to attempt to register on hotmail.com you get this nice informative message:

Microsoft® .NET Passport no longer supports the Web browser version you are using. Please upgrade to a current Web browser, such as Microsoft Internet Explorer version 4.0 or later, or Netscape Navigator version 4.08 or later.

I just wanted to see how fast it would take the spammers to discover that address. *shrug*

Woo! I used a spreadsheet to do something useful for the first time in my life! It wasn’t Excel either, but Open Office, running in Linux. Don’t be too smug though, I have never had or usually have a use for a spreadsheet in my use of computers.
No, I’m not going to reveal what I used it for, it was a rather simple operation!