Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox! hehe.

Famous Irish Quotes

"Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox!" What Zig and Zag were caught
shouting (with Ian Dempsey laughing in the background) when the cameras
returned prematurely from a commercial break during 'Dempsey's Den'. Zag
was tossing the Bosco puppet around. 

"Stephen Roche, the only British or Irish cyclist to win the Tour De France."
ITV commentator. 


Larry Gogan: "With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?"
Contestant: "Hamlet." 


Larry Gogan: "Name the BBC's Grand Prix commentator? .... I'll give you a
hint. It's something you suck...."
Contestant: "Oh, DickieDavies." (Murray Walker is the correct answer). 


Larry Gogan: "What was Jeeve's occupation?"
Contestant: "He was a carpenter." 


Larry Gogan: "Complete this well known phrase. 'As happy as.....' hint
think of me."
Contestant: "Flies on sh1te." 


Larry Gogan: (after a caller got none of 18 questions right on the Just a
Minute quiz) - "Ah sure the questions didn't really suit you did they?"
Caller: "Ah go fuck off Larry you're only an old bollox." 


Larry Gogan: "What do you call a female cow?" .... 
"When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd scored one."
RTE Commentator George Hamilton 


If you're a fifty pence piece in a pile of ten pence pieces,you have to
shine so much brighter in order to be noticed." Bono. 


"I can hold a note and I know I'm not ugly so, in ways, that's enough."
Keith Duffy of Boyzone. 


"That mail used to be handled by hand, now it's handled manually."
Chief Executive of An Post, John Hines. 


"The referendum went as most people hoped it would."
Irish Times editorial displaying acute understanding of the Democratic
Process. 


"Clap your feet!"
Bernie of the Nolan Sisters. 


"British Army bomb disposal squads who attempt to defuse carbombs early and
before areas are properly evacuated will be responsible for endangering
civilian lives."
IRA statement 1988. 


"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"
George Hamilton as Butreguanio comes off against Ireland. 


"The idea is well and good in theory, but tell me this, who is going to
feed them?"
Wicklow Councillor objects to a proposal to boost tourism by putting
gondolas on Blessington Lake. 


"We are not prepared to stand idly by and be murdered in our beds."
Rev. Ian Paisley. 


"What we are doing is in the interest of everybody, bar possibly the
consumer."
Aer Lingus spokesman. 


"Deep down I'm a very shallow person." Charles Haughey. 


"I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it."
Jack Charlton on hurling. 


"Outside HIV in Grafton Street."
Gay Byrne plugging Hot House Flowers appearance. 


THOSE DISGRACEFUL MADONNA PICTURES - FOUR PAGE SPECIAL INSIDE The 
Sun 


VIOLENCE DELAYS PEACE - LENIHAN
Irish Times 


CONCERNED RAPIST WORE A CONDOM
Evening Herald 


MRS REAGAN BETTER AFTER FALL
Irish Times 


SHARING THE BURDEN OF SCHIZOPHRENIA
Irish Times 


DOG SHOOTS MAN
Evening Press 


TEENAGE MUTANT BINGE AT THURLES
Feile '92 


RAPIST: I THOUGHT SHE WAS MY WIFE
Star 


MAN KEPT ARMS UNDER BED AFTER RELATIVE'S DEATH
Irish Times 


DEAD MAN INJURED IN CRASH
Irish Times 


"A top level Garda internal inquiry is being held in Connemara into an
allegation that a local garda shot a cow .... There has been no statement
from the cow." Irish press. 


"Mrs Windsor can come and go as she wants."
Gerry Adams on a visit by the Queen to Northern Ireland. 


"I think the Irish woman was freed from slavery by bingo .... They can go
out now, dressed up, with their handbags and have a drink and play bingo.
And they deserve it."
John B. Keane. 


Interviewer: Is it not dangerous to sell people knives called Rambo Knives?
Shopkeeper: I wouldn't say so, a lot of them can't spell. 

"I was called out to a non-existant phone call. When I returned I lifted my
glass, smelled and said 'My God, this is foul,it smells like p1ss'. A voice
from the back called out, 'We know, but whose?'."
Wine connoisseur T.P. Whelehan at a tasting in Trinity College. 


Jim Mitchell TD: You're always mixing me up with someone else.
Ceann Comhairle, Joe Brennan: Yes, I'm always confusing you with that
fellow Mitchell. 


"Ludicrous. Ridiculous."
1989 edition of Collins Concise Dictionary defines the word 'Irish'. 


"Get married again."
Charles Haughey to women asking for an increase in the widows' pension. 


Irish Indo after the Gardai raided a massage parlor (knocking shop) in
Rathmines. This is the arresting Garda's testimony: "When we entered the
premises the defendant was naked and in an aroused state. When asked the
reason for his presence at the establishment, he said he was being treated
for a GAA injury." 


Job Application Form: Do you support the overthrow of the Government by
force, subversion or violence?
Applicant: Violence.

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